I can hear his laugh when I look at this picture.  A squeal and a deep belly laugh all mixed into one.  And those missing teeth… wow!  It’s a moment to capture. With those 2 missing front teeth and an extra tooth next to the one that came out… well that smile… it says it all. 

No matter what my smile looks like, in this kind of happiness, it will be the biggest, best smile no matter what the gums and crooked teeth look like.  Joy doesn’t care.  This smile is one priceless picture and moment.  I know it won’t look like that forever and so I capture it.  It teaches me so much, and I want to remember the lesson.  

I took this picture while I was putting my boys to bed. We have our bedtime ritual, pajamas and brush teeth, then scriptures and prayer. We read a story and they climb into bed for angel blessings.  Of course there are always those nights when one, two or all of our rituals get skipped, but we never miss angel blessings.  

I follow Jaymen as he climbs to the top of the bunk bed.  There is usually some tickling, laughs  and positive thoughts. Jaymen loves the insides of his forearms tickled, so I do that, then I look into his eyes and ask, “do you want an angel blessing?”  “Yes!”  Is always the answer with the exception of the occasional night he’s mad at me for some reason… it’s not all perfect.  Angel Blessings are what make sleep sacred and protected, so I begin. 

“There are five angels around your bed and around your head.

One to watch over

Two to pray

One to keep bad things away

And one to be the Guarder of everything, times infinity.”

It was a poem I read in a children’s prayer book.  I thought it was so good that I started saying it to the boys each night. I loved the idea of putting angels around your bed each night.  I never would have thought when I read that poem for the first time, that their dad would become one of them.  Grant loved the poem too, so he took over giving them their angel blessings until he died. 

Grant and the boys added that last line.  They came up with it themselves.  The boys wanted a protector and a Guarder of everything so this seemed to be a logical addition.  Grant told them they could have another angel besides the 4 original in the poem.  We know we can have as many as we want, so 5 is just fine. 

This is what brings us together again each night when it’s time to sleep, our angels.  Now daddy is one of them.  He’s probably the Guarder of everything, that’s why he added that line.  He wanted to be the Guarder of everything.  Now he can be, as an angel. 

I started doing this poem again a year after he died.  Since Grant had taken that over, I had stopped and let him have that night time ritual, so it was no longer my habit.  One day I randomly remembered it and decided to start it up again.  I’m sure it was Grant reminding me.  

Tonight, while giving my son his angel blessing and arm tickle, I just couldn’t help myself but increase the tickles and the laughs that showed me the most amazing smile on the planet.  The one that tells the story of true joy.  The kind of simile that comes from angel blessings, tickles, laughter and an angel daddy who reminded mom to put the angels in their blessings again. I give that blessing to the kids each night now cause Grant can’t do the blessing for them anymore. He can only be the blessing now.