I hear the sweet sounds of boys laughing.  What I see is the most beautiful sight.  The big brother reading to the little brother.   I’ve been worried about big brother’s reading.  Then we found a book series he loves.  He can’t get enough of it.  

He reads it out loud and his little brother snuggles in next to him.  For just a few moments in time, all the little quibbles of young boys are lost. They are forgotten in the moments of connected story.  

The confidence that comes when you can read the words on a page and bring them to life.   It’s like watching magic.   I say to myself, “See, Janae, just be patient, they’ll get it.” I find myself concerned that he’s not reading well enough. It’ll be ok.

I don’t want them to fight so much.  It’ll be ok.

I wish they would just get along.  It’ll be ok.

Why do they keep bugging each other?  It’ll be ok.

Won’t they just help each other instead of hurting each other???  It’ll be ok.

Can they stop being so selfish… It’ll be ok.

On and on my worries go until I just stop and listen. I see what I’m teaching them, the things that can’t be learned after one lesson.  They are learning.   It’s me that is worrying too much.  It’s me that needs to stop and see what it is that’s really going on.   

It’s me that needs to stay present and calm and aware enough to realize that they are just fine.  What I’m doing is enough.  I stop and listen and hear the voices of little boys reading most of the words correctly. They’re laughing beautifully and snuggling sweetly.

The bonds of love and learning and all the things I want; I realize I already have.   I get to stop worrying and start living in the love that they’re creating. From the love I’m surrounding them with, as imperfect as it is; is all they need.

All I give them, even with all we’ve lost, is enough for now.   I smile and realize… it’s all good. It’s all there and we’re doing ok.