If any of you really knew Grant, you’d know he’d have to be dead for us to get a dog… So this Christmas, we got a dog.  Grant sent her to us.  He found her and brought us together, another story.  This story is about Christmas. 

This Christmas of 2021, felt like we’ve moved forward in an accepting way that’s embracing where we’re at.  We’d never have a dog if Grant were here.  We have a dog, because he’s not here.

After all the presents were opened and the day was slowing to a peaceful moment, all my kids gathered in my bedroom.  There weren’t many presents this year.  Just a few each and they were simple.  The kids, as kids are sometimes, were a little disappointed.  Is that all? 

Yeah, that’s it.  You already have everything you could ever want or need, so why add more stuff?  We have puppy and that’s gonna be the big project and main gift guys.  Ok they all said, now happily.   Then it came…. Can we play on our screens?

No was my answer.  We have cousins here and today is for connecting and relaxing, not falling into screen time while this beautiful day fades away into a blue light.  But remember when dad said on holidays we can play screens as much as we want?  Yeah, I remember. 

Well, can we?  Dad let us. 

Dad’s dead. 

Well it would be better if he were here. 
Yeah it would.  That sucks that he’s not. 

So that means that we’re not doing what he used to do.  That was when he was alive.  He’s not and neither is that tradition.  So we don’t do unlimited screen time on holidays anymore and we got a puppy.  Both because dad’s not here.  It’s just how it is.  Merry Christmas guys.

They all accepted it and moved on.  Just as we do each day, even in the remembering of how things used to be and the thought that it would be better if he were here, and the reality is that he’s not, and we’re ok.  And maybe even better for it.  We’ll never know what the alternatives would have been.