I like to say we went on our first date to Hawaii. It’s not totally true, but it is where we had our first kiss. It was the best first kiss I’d ever had, so I decided it would be perfect to end dating with the best and make it my last first kiss.

How we got to Hawaii for a date, well that’s a story. Grant loved to bring people together, especially girls. He had invited several to Hawaii with him, girls that is. Yes, he did that. It wasn’t a popular guy Casanova thing, it was more like hedging against rejection and “The Bachelor” style group dating. It was for efficiency, not status. He was a multifunction, multipurpose kind of guy. He got a lot done in a small amount of time. It was a life theme.

He had lived in Hawaii for a year while working as a pilot. He fell in love with Hawaii. It was true love for him. As a pilot with flight benefits, he could fly over there anytime he wanted and he went as often as he could.

I happened to be one of the lucky (many) girls he invited to Hawaii, but the only one who made it happen on this occasion. I had never been to Hawaii, and oh did I want to go. With a tour guide and a free place to stay, all I had to do was get myself there. It was practically a done deal in my mind. I used my Skymiles, so paid $100 for my ticket. Good thing too because our future was about to unfold.

His friend we stayed with lived on the 12th story in her apartment building. They had no elevator. There was a circular stair in the middle of the building. If you went to the top, you could look down the middle of the stairwell clear to the bottom of the building. At the end of that unobstructed view down the stairs was a concrete pad ‘of death’ if you were to fall from that height.

The opening in the middle between the handrails was about 4 feet by 4 feet square. The handrail is what protected you from that long fall. The rail was all around the stairs all the way down to the bottom. Grant, being Grant, climbed up to the top of the handrail. He stood up as he balanced on the 2” ball shaped rail under his feet. The other side of which was a sheer unhampered fall clear to the bottom of the building. He looked at me with a glimmer in his eyes. I looked back at him steady. Wondering to myself ‘what on earth is this guy doing?’

Without a word, he leaped across the 4 foot opening and landed on the other side. I caught my breath as he jumped. He perched on the other side, feet solid and hands holding the rail in a monkey like position as if he’d done it a thousand times. He checked for my reaction. I looked at him and said, “Wow that was a good landing. Why did you do that?” He gazed back at me, still in monkey position on top of the handrail and said, “My mom says I’m going to die young.” “Really?“ I expressed, “Well if you’re doing stuff like that, she’s likely to be right.”

I didn’t think much of that exchange at the time. Now I think back on that conversation. Why didn’t I believe it? That moment was actually monumental. My reaction to his intensity was less than what he was used to and was of course what he was seeking. He did things like that, usually in front of girls to get a reaction. They’d scream and tell him he was crazy.

He liked a good reaction, but had never seen a girl so calm in response to his antics. I could tell he liked my response. It was different from what everyone else did. He knew from this, I would be solid for him. I wouldn’t freak out when he was just being Grant. I would let him be him and he saw this in that moment. That’s when he knew I was the girl for him.

I could feel it too. He’d jumped across a 4 foot column of death and said something outrageous as well. I just looked at him and loved him the same. I didn’t have any reason to be affected if he would have died at the time.

Now I have 4 little reasons and a whole lifetime to remember what he prophesied. I likely wouldn’t have thought about that moment again, except those words have come true. Those words come back to haunt me now.