Living is a whole new adventure when you suddenly find yourself alone, widowed and the mother of four young boys a lot like their Dad.
Keep Dreaming Little One
This little boy of mine, he just fell asleep next to me. I watch as his eyes close, then open and close again. A few more times and then they stay shut. His eyelashes floating down to the longest length you can possibly see. They are like the long wisps of feathers, hovering over his cherubic cheeks.
Sleeping With Angels
My little boy is sleeping next to me. Nearly every night one of my boys asks, “Mom, can I sleep with you?” The question always gives me conflict. I see you. A tiny person who wants to be close to the big person who makes you feel safe. Who is safe. The one who they know is their ‘home.’ I fully understand I am their safe place.
The World Stopped
I try to protect my precious little boy from the world, drugs, himself and being like his dad, but I can’t. I can’t protect him like I want to. I can’t live like this anymore.
I Got a Cat
I got a cat, it’s our first one. Seems innocuous enough on the surface. The thing is, Grant hated animals. Maybe I shouldn’t use the word hate. I don’t want to misrepresent. It felt extreme like that with him though.
Ready To Play With Dad
“Mom, mom, watch!!” I smiled at his excitement, a common exclamation from children to their parents. And hopefully it’s not some catastrophe in the making! Which has actually happened a lot at my house, while my husband was alive and since he passed. Did you know Grant was arrested for an explosion in our backyard once?!
Motherhood Never Sleeps
It’s 1 am on a warm summer night.
I’ve only been asleep for 90 minutes and I’m snatched from my beautiful deep sleep. I was finally in my dreamland where everything is peaceful. Where I rest and renew to have enough for the following day. The only place where I usually don’t remember that my husband is dead.
Becoming a Mom
I wanted the first baby. I admit that freely. The second, well, he was a sound business decision. The third? He was a total surprise. The fourth? Grant wanted that one.
