Date Night
How do you keep something alive? You care for and nourish it of course. If you want the love you feel to live and grow, you nourish it. If you love, that’s natural to want to keep the love alive. Love is a living, changing entity. Our marriage was a living thing. We nourished it. The entity of our marriage was a living breathing existence of energy. When loved of itself, would give both of us life, or when neglected, would steal life force from each of us.
A new life was created from our union that was bigger and beyond both of us. It was created to be a new source to our individual energy. It’s what happens when two people create together. They create with a synergistic power that is bigger and more powerful than either individual could be on their own. That’s the power of two people together. 1 person +1 person = Infinity. Two is not even in the realm of a possible answer, if you know this. If you don’t know this and your relationship is 1+1=2, you’re missing the whole of the possibility of creation without limits.
A truth, not readily in awareness, yet so easily accessible in universal natural feelings given to humans. It’s an instinct that leads to action. It’s why one yearns to be with another, rather than alone. If a person alone could do what two people who are aware could do; the desire to be with another person, a companion, it wouldn’t exist. It’s a universal desire so strong among the human race, it’s irresistible. You know that’s true. Even if you, yourself think being alone is better than being with someone. It once was true for the majority of humans, even if that desire is gone now.
I say this because the desire leads us to reach out in vulnerability; then when the rejection comes, it hurts. Then, the desire to reach out is smothered. Then, the possibility to create is lost because beliefs change. What’s tolerable is what it changes to. Fear, pain and heartache take over. That’s because the awareness of what’s possible isn’t there anymore. Here the alternate expandable reality is lost.
This highest form of human contact, 1+1=infinity. This doesn’t happen without sacrifice. It is beautiful but it is effort. Being lazy is easier than being extraordinary. When all hope is lost and this seeps into every aspect of your life, then it seems impossible. It's not impossible. It’s simple.
Focused intention.
Grant and I had date night every week. Every Tuesday night at 4 pm till 9 pm, we were together, no kids, (unless we had a nursing baby). It was our time. It was us. No phones, no distractions, time to connect, rejuvenate, and be us. The us before we had kids, life, business, house, cars and all the to do’s around those.
Time to remember WHY we fell in love and to recreate that every week. It was a mastermind. A connection that rejuvenated our relationship and carried us through every week day with happiness. A time we could rely on that was where we could have the space to talk through things that needed to be addressed.
Every relationship has those things. If they are not processed and addressed, it is like a cancer that enters the marriage or relationship and will eventually self-destruct. A marriage is a living entity remember. When the poison gets in, if it stays, it will kill the life of the relationship. Conversely, when it is transformed from poison to vital love, then the path to infinity is created. That's why the poison is there. It exists to be transformed.
The issues and pain in a relationship are a gift. A gift waiting for its turn for transformation. It’s when there is a lack of awareness that the purpose of pain needs to be transformed. If the pain is not transformed, it stays painful. The relationship dies. That’s not what’s supposed to be.
The pain is there to be turned into love. Then, it becomes an immortal life, that’s why love exists. Love created from pain is immortal, it transcends space and time and all possibility. That’s what we created every week. That’s why we did it.
Yes, that picture of Grant on his phone was typical of our lifestyle. Always on the go. Making things happen. Running at top speed. I snapped that picture because we were on our way to our favorite park to walk, and he was just finishing up. I had on new lipstick I wanted to wear on my date, to feel beautiful. I was happy. I snapped the picture to see how the color looked. Then Grant finished his call, turned his phone off, and turned to me. He saw my bright lips and said I was beautiful.
This repeated every week. This routine created a nourishing element to us that was made by him and me. It then created a nourishing connection that lasted all week, till the next date could invigorate that creation. If we missed a date, we felt it. We almost never missed it. It was the source of creation for both of us. It was too expensive to miss it. It was on these date nights that the most successful elements of our business were created and put into play the next week. We didn’t make any money on our dates, but that time turned million dollar ideas into reality. As we formulated together ideas were put into reality during the following week.
Offers came in. Can you do this Tuesday? We’ll pay you 5k. Nope. That’s my date night. Can you come here on Tuesday? It’ll be really valuable for your career. Nope, that’s my date night. Can you fly to LA it will open up an opportunity for possibly a 100k deal. Nope. That’s my date night. We didn’t waste our precious time together chasing a dream. We created the dream on those nights, then it came to us. That was the source of our success.
The secret is to avoid the trap of stepping over dollars to pick up dimes. You think an opportunity will bring you the success you want, so you put off what’s really important. A date doesn’t make you money, give you your next big break or change your career opportunity. It’s not something you see like that. It’s just a luxury, so you step over that dollar to pick up your dimes, not realizing that the time spent creating together, will bring you everything you desire.
It’s not the chase, it’s the creation. The creation that comes from simple, possible, focused, intention. That’s creation. Creation stops the chase and invites the fulfillment of the dreams. It’s when you see that, that you find your place in the world of fulfillment. When you see the value in the seemingly valueless.