Flowers symbolize so many things; love and loss and sorry and congratulations. Which color and flower is given, how its sent and its scent, all telling a story. For instance what flowers smell like... Flowers smell like life, love, and death all at the same time to me.

When my husband's funeral came, flowers took on a whole new meaning again. The room where I put them after the funeral was so beautiful when the flowers were first moved in. I knew it would be a morbid process to keep them in my home, but I wanted to, anyway.

 They were so bright and vibrant and beautiful like Grant for the first week. After that, they would wilt and dry and smell a little bit different with each passing day until they became brittle and the smell of rot was more pungent than the scent of flowers. I basked in the sadness of it.

The flowers were a metaphor of what was happening to life and dreams and plans. In only a couple of weeks time everything was the opposite of what it had been. The bright, beautiful, and longingly fragrant flowers were just the opposite of what they once were.

I watched it happen in that room where I put the flowers as I was watching it happen in my life. That’s why I wanted to keep them - I could relate to them. I couldn’t throw them away until every last flower was dried and wilted. It was a perfect metaphor. I needed them to finish their job and complete their cycle of life. Only then, could I say goodbye.

 Now, I don’t think of death when I smell flowers. I think of life. I know that a flower’s time is short and its purpose is to bring beauty for this moment, not forever, Just as life is meant to be lived in this moment, not forever. I now welcome the reminder that life is fleeting.

 I choose to enjoy a flower for what it offers in the moment. It still comes with the memories of life, love, death, and so much more. Now though, in the moment of fragrant beauty, it has so much meaning and metaphor that I just smile.