Isn’t it beautiful?! The Christmas tree and presents waiting for the kids in the morning. It’s the whole Christmas vibe. I love it. I feel it this year. This is the first year since my husband died 4 years ago that I have wrapped  presents and felt a little bit of excitement about the holiday. It feels good.

This year ‘Santa’ brought a big group present along with just a few little things for each boy. I didn’t get a ton of gifts for each boy under the tree, enough though. I decided that we have enough. Indeed, we have more than enough, so this year I want simplicity. 

My boys don’t really need more stuff. They have stuff, a lot.  In fact, we are cleaning out this year, all that we don’t use, don’t like, is broken or whatever other reason we aren’t in love with the item being removed.  Yes, of course they want more stuff but there is fun to have in other ways. 

There is fun in adventure for instance, like the 1 giant box next to the Christmas tree that they were actually interested in.  Or so they thought it was big... As they opened the wrapping paper to expose a big box, they were a little bit puzzled because they couldn’t yet tell what was in the big box from the markings.  

With the power of excitement and the energy of Christmas morning they got the big box opened, only to see another box. They began to realize the game and they ripped into the 2nd one. Now they paused, if only for just a moment because now they knew it had been multiple wrapped boxes. 

In seconds they dug into the 3rd box, then the 4th, until they reached the smallest one, a paper thin envelope. Three of the 4 didn’t really know what to do now, but no one had yet given up hope. They were so adorable. They even used some really good teamwork. They also let the youngest do his share. 

My boys are very creative. They hit, kicked, shoved-all the things boys do so well anyway, but this time toward a common goal together. Box after box they got into. Their excited screams and smiles filled the room and my heart. This is why moms put in all the effort for Christmas morning.

I want my boys to have more experiences with each other and with me, not to have more stuff. I want more time with them because time is so precious. Instead of being upset and cleaning up so much mess later, I want time to spend with and enjoy them. 

Once they got to the last envelope, the older ones read the paper that was pulled out, and as it was read aloud, a couple of my boys started doing a happy dance. They got a cruise. Something we can all do together, enjoy, take pictures and be done with it. Someone else cooks, cleans up after us and even entertains on occasion. 

This year feels a little different. I feel more capable, at times comfortable, but of course that never lasts. I’ve become accustomed to my life as it is. I’ve worked through a lot and I have gotten a handle on some things, enough so that I can move forward and enjoy this time with my boys.