Living is a whole new adventure when you suddenly find yourself alone, widowed and the mother of four young boys a lot like their Dad.
Being Alive
After going through the loss of my husband, the thing that I have connected to the most, is that feeling of what it feels like to be alive. When I get too far from that, I get more unalive though I’m alive.
My Miracle
A few months after Grant died, I was on a road trip with the boys. We were going back to the home in St. George where we’d lived when he died. This was going to be the first time back since that happened. We had left shortly after his death because I couldn’t be there.
Believing Lies
I watched Grant take off, off into the sky. We were at the park. It was our family routine. We’d go to the park an hour before sunset many nights of the week. Grant packed up the paramotor and I’d gather the kids. We’d head to the park where he’d unload everything. As he did, he’d draw a crowd who’d watch in awe as he set up and took off. Showing us all it’s possible for man to fly.
How Am I Doing? Don’t Ask Me
Please stop asking me how am I doing, I have no answer. Friends and family close to me are often asked, “How is Janae doing?” by others who know me. It also comes from those who are thinking of me and have heard my husband died, thus leaving me with 4 little boys. I think people want a connection to me within this raw reality, or a reassurance that I’m ok, but somehow they don’t feel able to ask me themselves.
