![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e572f4eabec062851006203/1596067836932-EQR6XP1THCAONIDM8KZW/gregoire-herve-bazin-_LLcIlMoUaE-unsplash.jpg)
Living is a whole new adventure when you suddenly find yourself alone, widowed and the mother of four young boys a lot like their Dad.
![The Color White](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e572f4eabec062851006203/1621556578222-HFBRFQ85BAEY1GK6FDJE/White+bed.jpg)
The Color White
White is my favorite color. I love to wear it, see it, decorate with it, feel it, surround myself with it, and everything I buy; my first choice is white. Being the mom of 4 young boys and loving to wear white and have it all around is kind of a travesty. Nothing stays white, but that is because it shows everything, which is part of my point.
![Did You Know That Picture Was For Your Funeral?](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e572f4eabec062851006203/1611509567441-IVT2WE8E286JFT0VRXHC/grants+last+haircut.jpg)
Did You Know That Picture Was For Your Funeral?
He took this picture after his last haircut. He sent it to me to show off how clean cut and handsome he thought he looked with a new haircut. He got his haircut every six weeks, on the dot. If it went past six weeks, he’d complain incessantly till he got it cut. I knew of his schedule. I was gone for this hair cut, so he sent me a photo. He was so proud to stay right on schedule.
![Angelic Instructions](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e572f4eabec062851006203/1602809696285-9ZLN2097MNVBQ3YD5S35/janae+on+a+walk.jpg)
Angelic Instructions
I went on a walk with my mom. We walked in silence. What do you say anyway? She patiently held a space for me, watched me, helped me with the kids, but I’m sure she didn’t really know the right thing to do or say. Just being there was where she needed to be, and all I needed really.
![Smiling In Pain](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e572f4eabec062851006203/1602210775464-WZIH3M9P2GSRENTPXDCF/janaeboysparty.jpg)
Smiling In Pain
The first Saturday after, August 2, 2019, we held a Celebration of Life. It was one of 3 events held to honor my newly passed on husband, Grant Thompson. This was the first Celebration we held of Grant’s Life. It had been 5 days. Grant died that prior Monday. At this point I didn’t know if my own world was real anymore. I was in total shock and that had been since the moment they told me, “Your husband is deceased.”
![](https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5e572f4eabec062851006203/1596059321261-IGR60YO7C0A93195F9RE/kaui+white+flower.jpg)