Living is a whole new adventure when you suddenly find yourself alone, widowed and the mother of four young boys a lot like their Dad.
Family Portraits
Our last family photoshoot with dad was right after Jayce was born. That’s more than 6 years ago.
Heavy Bag Love Letter
I remember a time when making videos was your uber focus. I remember how you wanted to make as many videos as you could. Your audience was all you could think about.
I Had a Dream
I had a dream that Grant came back, like came back right now. I dreamed that he came back to the life I have now. In the dream he hadn’t been dead but it was more like a pause for him.
The King of Random
That name… The King Of Random… where did it come from?! Some say it’s a little self-aggrandizing. Grant worried about that but; after all the other options and most of the ones he really liked being already taken, he decided on that one.
I Remember When It Was Just Us
I remember when it was just us. It was you and I. There was nothing that didn’t work for us. You and me, me and you and we smiled. Flower leis, travel and so many things for us to discover together. This was one of your favorite places, Hawaii.
The Grant Boys
We passed this sign every day on our way to Disneyland. It caught my breath in my throat every single time. And every single time I passed it, I thought we should get a picture of the boys under that sign.
The Last Cup
We have a daily routine. I’ve maintained it for years. We drink a glass of celery juice to start the day, most mornings anyway. I’m not perfect ok? Then we have smoothies. I put them in glass jars because I like the way they taste in glass. It’s fresher and feels more authentic to the flavor of what’s in there. Glass also seems to preserve the juice longer.
The 2nd Year Is Harder
Grant,
In 2 days it will be your birthday. You’d be 40, but you’re dead, so you won’t be. You stopped aging at 38. You managed to immortalize yourself in your youthfulness, before your age really started to show, before you were affected by all the life lessons and joys of growing older. Congratulations.
Grant’s Last Day Alive
It started like every other day of our lives. The ending was like no other day had been. I will never get the events of that night out of my head. I will never get the feelings of that day out of my heart. The day, it couldn't have been a more tender and sweet last day. Grant woke early and left around 6 am to go flying. He loved the morning flight time, just as the sun was rising and the heat hadn’t hit yet. It invigorated him.
No Risk No Fun…
When Grant first took this picture, I thought it was funny. Yeah I thought, to risk is to live fully. That’s what it means, right? To not watch from the sidelines. To live fully is fun. Yes there is risk in action, participation and trying new vistas in life, but that doesn’t mean inappropriate risk or foolish choices. It means to take a chance at something new and different and outside current knowledge and comforts.
Air That Kills
The wind storm in our town canceled school. I’ve never heard of anything like that. Wind? Canceling school??? Good grief! Are you serious? The kids are only in school 2 days a week anyway because of COVID and now I’m losing one of those two precious days because the air is acting up? You’ve got to be kidding me!
Grant Lived for Tomorrow
Grant grew up really poor. His clothes all came from a second hand store. For breakfast when he was young, his family had oatmeal with powdered milk diluted by half to stretch it to last longer.
Grant’s Grapefruit
Two full months after Grant died, I finally threw away his grapefruit. I knew myself better than to throw it away in the kitchen. I tossed it in the big trash can outside, the one that goes out on the street tonight… I’d already been holding onto it for 2 months. A grapefruit!
